


Mile high

by somali77



Category: Weiss Kreuz - Fandom
Genre: BDSM, First Try, Humour, M/M, Mentions of Casual Sex, Schuldig likes it rough, Telekinesis, casual playpartner, first scene together, improper use of esper abilities, kink gone wrong (kinda), learning to top, mentions of d/s, mentions of different relationships, mentions of polyamory, pushy Sub!Schuldig, reluctant top!Nagi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 21:16:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13532712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somali77/pseuds/somali77
Summary: (Telekinesis and sex in public. Much too late response for the WK- revival- challenge on dreamwidth.) Schuldig just wants to have fun and grownUp!Nagi tries his first steps into the art of topping. Using his powers, of course... ;)





	1. Chapter 1

~

Nagi doesn´t dare going full dominant first. 

It takes some time to nurse him into enough confidence to dom at all...  
Worth it, though. 

Schuldig finds way too much pleasure in the submissive role to give up on it, so whenever it doesn´t happen naturally with a new partner, he´s ready to get creative. And very, very persistent.

Subspace is such a nice, comfortable buzz of white noise in an overused brain. 

He´s convinced that no strong telepath could ever live and stay sane (or well, kind of sane) for too long without it. Then again, he´s seldomly spoken to any strong telepath that still was remotely sane other than himself.... Maybe that´s because there are none to begin with. 

Or maybe it´s because of trust issues. 

 

He knows all about that problem: Schuldig may come off as aloof, but he´s not beyond some healthy self reflecting in quieter moments. 

With his team members, trust issues are present, but not unsurpassable. 

 

Usually, it just takes a while for him to settle in and get into the right headspace at the start of a scene. That feels... normal. 

It´s that way even with Crawford, who´s exceptionally- good- at dominating him, so he suspects the initial reluctance to dive into a scene head first, even though he wants to, is something common, maybe even something every person goes through. And if that´s the case it means Nagi can push through it, too. He just needs some orientation... and a good role model. 

»I could keep annoying you until you´re feeling comfortable enough to smash me into a wall«, he suggests one quiet afternoon while Naji is in the kitchen, nibbeling at some pale toast with honey. Dark eyes focus on him in a cautious, doubtful way, and he suddenly realizes that the trust issue- thing might go both ways. 

»Can´t say that´s no tempting offer«, Nagi says, licking golden syrup from slender fingers, »What if you end up not liking it, though? Are you gonna give me headaches for two weeks again?«

Schuldig denies to have ever turned to such atrocities:  
»Of course not!«

»I can´t be sure, can I?«

»Look, what if we stop concentrating on what could go wrong, and start thinking about what could go right?«

He inches closer, very close, as always when he really wants something.  
His butt gets placed on the table, right next to the plate of sticky, sweet remnants. His hand moves in to thumb a drop of honey from Nagis chin, and that´s when the air around him suddenly becomes solid. 

 

Gently, very gently, their youngest team member pushes him away with his power. 

Schuldigs slides over the kitchen table in slow motion, like a curling stick on top of an icy pond.

 

»... See?«, he cheers from the other side, when the force stops pushing, »That was kinda cool, wasn´t it?«

»It´s very tricky to use on a human«, Nagi sighs, »It´s all about getting the pressure right. If you´re just a- tad- too excited, you end up breaking bones... and smashing people full force into pillars...«

»Did I not tell you about my secret dreams of getting smashed into pillars?«, Schuldig hums, eyebrows wiggling seductively. 

Nagi rolls his eyes. 

»Your dirty mind is public and free for all in this household, remember?«

»I just wanted to emphasize!«  
»Still don´t think it´s such a great idea. Think about the tantrum Crawford would throw if I happened to -accidentially- splatter you all across some solid surface. It happened to friends and family when I was younger so I´m a bit reluctant about this, remember?«

»You had friends and family when you were younger?«  
Schuldigs grin is dark, evil and absolutely fearless. 

Nagi just gives him The Look. 

»Had.«, he says, nodding slowly: »You know, like the old Pink Floyd song goes: All in all it´s just another splat on the wall«

Schuldig isn´t willing to give up so easily, so he cocks his head and swings his hip playfully round the table once more:  
»We could practice?«, he offers.  
»I already am. I´m practising on me, allright?«

»That´s so... very responsibly dominant!«, Schuldig coos, »Brady- Daddy DID rise you well after all! How do you do it?«

»Like this«

Some eerie seconds, nothing seems to happen. And then, Nagis chair beings to float one inch, two inches above the kitchen floor. 

»Awesome!«, Schuldig shouts out, »With this, you could actually fly! That´s so cool! Okay, I´m jealous now.«  
»Of course you are. Who´d want some lame ass power like telepathy? All it ever is is being annoying as hell.«  
»Hey, that´s-... okay, you´re right. It IS annoying as hell.«

Nagi keeps eye contact for a moment, the edges of his mouth turning upwards a little.  
»Good«, he whispers, »Keep letting me win an argument every now and then, and we could actually send this ridiculous ship somewhere.«

»Hey, don´t get cocky on me now«, Schuldig scoffs, »Verbal domination still is my territory, alright? You focus on pushing stuff around, Magneto jr.«

This earns him an invisible slap on the back of his head that maybe was -supposed- to be light, but sends him crashing face first into the kitchen table instead. He bouces back, whipping the honey- smeared, toast- crumbled porcellaine dish with flailing arms from the table top to the fridge, letting it crash in thousand pieces on the tiled floor. 

Gasping, with a bloody nose, mussed up hair and shaky legs, he tries getting up again. 

»That-... that wasn´t half bad«, he pipes from somewhere underneath smudges and streaks of red, »See... we´re just about starting to understand each other!«

Nagi huffs, rolls his eyes, like he´s used to do since his teenage years, and spares himself an answer. 

~


	2. Chapter 2

~

»Do you want me to call you any different?«

They´re in the car and Nagi can´t go anywhere, that´s why they´re having this talk.   
»Like what?«, he asks. 

»Well, like...«, Schuldig weaves idle fingers through the air, grasping for words, »Master Exploder, or... Negasonic Teenage Warhead, or... Mylord, Your Grace - you know, if it helps getting you into the right headspace, I´d be willing to call you any sort of honorifics. Okay, »Daddy« would be a bit far- fetched, I´ll admit. But if it caters to any huge kink you have- and come on, we already know about your tendency to fall for -certain- obvious babygirls, I could-...«  
»This conversation is over.«, Nagi tells him. 

»Yeah, but-...«, that´s when his lower jaw stops working.   
Suddenly it´s as if a huge fist of air presses down around his head, and his breathing stops alltogether. His fingers twitch. First he tries fighting it out of instinct. Tries to shake it off, wiggle away and when that doesn´t work in an instant there is this hot rush of excitement trickeling down and setting his spine on fire. He´s ablaze with lust and the thrill of impending death. Gasping doesn´t work either and finally, when the edges of his vision go dark, he pushes back with his one most effective weapon: Murderous Headache. 

»Schuldig, you bitch!«, Nagi swears, as he lets him go and grasps hold of his temples,   
»You promised me not to do that!«

Schuldig, still gasping, pulse still racing, sweat still breaking out all over nods solemly:   
»We need a safeword«, he croaks. 

Good god.   
This is going to be so good. 

~


	3. Chapter 3

~

He´s never had sex with a telekinetic person before.  
Well, sure, okay, he´s had sex with Nagi, but not in this dynamic and without powers: With the boy on his back, sprawled all across his new boss Mamorou´s nice, wooden desk, all quiet gasps and fingernails and pure, carnal pleasure. Best bit was when the Young Sir Himself walked in on them and Nagi got even more hot and tight and _delicious_. One other kink discovered. Their youngest is a never ending well of dirty secrets... that´s why it´s so much fun to hook up with him. Anyway:  
He´s never given up control and has had sex with some person using telekinetic powers on him. He´s had sex as a bottom multiple times. He HAS a thing for extremes: Wonderfully disgusting, messy and mass-murderer-crazy sex with Farf, involving plenty of body fluids and sharp, pointy objects. Heavy leather-cladded, discipline- focused BDSM- scenes with Brad, and yes, all of that has been immensely satisfying. 

The thought of someone being able to overpower him completely without even physically touching him is... a special kind of thrill, though. 

What could be more exciting to a danger-zone-sub like himself than someone who can smash trucks and rip down buildings with his sole _mind_? 

Just think about what he could do to his body... to his balls...?

If he could just tune his power in finely enough, he could stop his ability to ejaculate for however long it´d please him. The kink potential of this ability is just off the charts. And the boy´s got a dirty mind, thats for sure. He´s just... reluctant. Maybe he needs some more convincing, after all. Maybe he needs something old fashioned: A good shoulder rub and a hot cup of cocoa. And some friendly talk.

_We´re partners, aren´t we? You wouldn´t hurt me more than I could take it.  
I think about it so much... I really want this, you know?_

Good, trusted Nagi. Even in god- mode, the kid´s still a big sap at heart. And even if there lurks dom- potential in the depth of his dark, dark eyes... he might start out as something more of a service top. Nothing wrong with that, though, of course... it´s all gotta start somewhere. 

~


	4. Chapter 4

~

Schuldig goes by train the other day. He hates it. Close, physical contact, many people and narrow spaces make the voices much worse. It´s like a loud, maddening hum of nonsense, too much information, too much emotion, just too much of it all. He should have had one of Crawford´s chill pills earlier in the morning. They make him feel slow and tired, like he´s moving through syrup, but at least they quiet down the voices.  
He feels itchy now. And irritated. Mass murder suddenly sounds like a tempting idea. 

Farfarello is so misunderstood. 

The station arrives, the train doors open with a whizz, he lifts his eyes and starts moving-... and thats when he suddenly feels a steel grip on the back of his head that hurls him forward. 

He stumbles, unsure at first if someone attacked him, but the next push across the station platform makes him loose ground under his feet, makes him scramble and flail and trying to keep up his stride. Someone, something invisible rips at his scalp, and even if he loves having his hair pulled in general, this feels like the force could straight up skin him alive. He´s panting. 

»Nag-...«, he gasps out, trying to make out where the younger one is standing, but then he´s grabbed and lifted up fast, his feet don´t reach the ground anymore and he´s quickly accelerating over some grassy blotches of park, across the crown of a tree up through midair, and in whizzing speed further up, up and away, without any rope, without any safety net, towards a huge, distant TV- tower. 

»What the?!«, he feels the sickening, pulling pain in the pit of his stomach that tells him about his severe issues with having no control about the heights he gets lifted to.  
»Nagi!?«

»It´s me.«, he hears the voice between his ears, calm and very clear, »Would you stop flailing, please.«  
»Where the fuck are you?!«  
»Don´t move, I´m serious. This is difficult. Don´t try attacking me with headaches, either. I could loose my grip on you. Or loose focus, which could result in me ripping limbs out of your sockets or accidentially crushing your skull. Just try to... completely relax your mind and body now, will you?«

»ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!«

Schuldig wheezes.  
The world around him dips, shifts, reduced to a blur of wind and colors.  
Is that a fly in his airways, or is his nicotine abuse starting to show? He feels sick. 

»NAGI! Shit! What the fuck is the SAFEWORD again?!«

»It´s »Crawford«.«  
In one fraction of a moment, everything comes to a halt.  
Suddenly, all is quiet. 

He´s hanging god knows how high in midair, with nothing around him, nothing to stand on, to hold on to, nothing to grasp or to focus on. Most buildings of the town center are tiny beneath him. Cars and people are like crawling bugs now. His pulse thunders in his throat. 

Nagis voice is low and breathless between his ears, inside of his scull: Very clear. All the other voices are dulled beneath it. 

»Do you want to call out for him?«, the boy whispers, »Do you want me to stop?«

Schuldig gulps.  
He can feel his left shoe slipping from the tip of his foot and damnit, this is italian leather for god´s sake, it´s cost a fucking fortune and it´s about to fall-...  
»Watch my fucking shoe«, he says, tight and growling, unspoken threat in his voice. 

It slips from his toes the next second and descends soundlessly into the depths beneath.  
»NO!!!«, he howls, suddenly lashing out like a madman, »You FUCKER!« 

Okay, they probably should´ve talked about this beforehand.  
His little tendency to lose it and go berserk for a moment, when he feels his control being ripped from him too fast and too strong and a part of him probably still needs time to catch up with trust and logic. 

The vacuum between his initial states of submition is sometimes filled with a blind, panicked rage. He throws a »hissy fit«- as Crawford likes to put it (and he hates that phrase, because it makes him think of their leader´s other occasional ginger toy: the leather- loving kitten)-... because he´s too unfamiliar and uncomfortable with things suddenly not going his way anymore.  
It just throws him off.  
It´s not like he WANTS to be difficult- he just needs a moment to release this explosive mixture of -fear- and -tension- and utter regret of his life choices. 

Usually, that´s when Crawford would put his arms around and press his body flush against him, to ground him and calm him down... Crawford usually holds him... 

 

Nagi lets him drop. 

His protesting cries turn into a highpitched scream, as he dives down in free fall, back towards the quickly approaching roofs of buildings and paths of public transports. 

 

~


	5. Chapter 5

~

»NAGI!«, he shrieks, because, fuck the safeword, Crawford can´t help him now:  
»Nagi, NAAGIII!!!«

»See what you did?«, their youngest sounds not half as surprised as he should have. As if he kind of expected that. »You´re killing yourself with being too fucking stubborn. I said, I needed you to -relax-.«

»HOW ABOUT, YOU FUCKING-...!«

»Stop moving NOW or get smashed, it´s your choice. I said I couldn´t hold you like this!«

Schuldig stops moving.  
He presses his eyes closed, remembers all those hellish moments in Rosenkreuz, when he had no choice but to comply-... he remembers _that this is different, they´ve talked about this, he wanted this, when he says the word it´s all over_ -... and his frantic brain pushes itself forcefully over the edge: His muscles go limp. 

With a »whopp«, he gets caught in mid air.  
It´s like landing on a cloud. Except, it´s not. 

It´s like landing on what you´d imagine a cloud to be. Soft and fluffy and a bit wet with solid drops of moisture caught in the air.

He´s taking a deep breath, eyes still pressed close, head swimming and can´t believe he´s safe.  
But he is, he is safe. This is Nagi. 

He knows his voice, his soul, his most intimate thoughts, he´s tasted them, explored them, got to know them all through the years. Above all his issues and mental struggles, Nagi is one of those very, very few people that Schuldig wants to trust in this life.

The voices are far away now, shrill, distant murmurs, and as he suddenly feels a presence, feels a cold, soft, actual hand touching his skin on his cheek under unruly, red bangs... the voices stop.  
Focus zones in on the point of physical contact. Everything else is white.  
In his brain, his mind, his inner world, all around him there is nothing more than this comforting, peaceful hum, the softly buzzing white noise. 

»Like this«, Nagi whispers when their eyes finally meet, »This is good.«  
There is the tiniest trace of trembling and relief hiding under his voice. 

»I´m sorry«, Schuldig breaths, »I couldn´t-... I get over excited-... You went to Crawford for advice on this, didn´t you.«  
Nagi shushes him. 

He feels enclosed by the force, ever so gentle, and lifted upright.  
Cold swifts of wind flow around him, under him, under his feet. Nagis physical form is right in front of him. He´s grown so much since some years ago, but he´s still slim and still a little soft around his now more defined edges, still a bit smaller than Schuldig and still so young.  
Just his eyes. His dark, sad eyes are those of a very old soul that´s seen death and loss and emptyness more often than anyone ever should. 

Nagi closes them. He leans in for a kiss, although he never physically touches Schuldigs lips. He just breaths. A soft, ghosting whiff of warm air against his face, like the gentlest touch of his powers.

Schuldig swallows.  
He wants to say something, but he can´t. No words come out. No thought forms.  
He´s no medium anymore, no Mastermind, right now he´s just... open.  
Accepting. 

»I remember«, Nagi whispers close to his ear, »That you wanted me to penetrate you in some ridiculously extreme way... but... I just feel that it´s not fitting the mood right now, is it?«  
Schuldig answers the agreement with all his soul. That´s all he has right now. No thoughs left, no movement, since Nagi told him not to try and escape his grasp. All he´s got left is his bare, trembling soul in front of the darkest gaping depths of the universe.

The younger man grabs hold of his clothes, looks up, and then they´re slowly ascending, moving effortlessly through the air, across the huge windows of the TV- tower´s viewers platform, where wide, googly eyes of nameless, gaping tourists follow them, up on top of the concrete globe. 

»I´ve got you«, Nagi says into the crook of his neck.

~


	6. Chapter 6

~

Schuldig gets lifted up like a ragdoll, held up on Nagis outstretched fingers, who handles him with as little effort as a human soap bubble, and he instantly starts fighting motion sickness. Suddenly he remembers that he hates flying, because of how caged up and helpless it makes him feel, and because of how he´s surrounded by people thinking about how the plane is gonna crash every time it bumps and reels in the air. 

»Nagi«, he gasps out, after embarassing seconds: »Timeout-... , please. I can´t- I don´t think I can take this!«

»What´s wrong?«, the boy asks, catching him by his sleeve to pull him back in: »Tell me?«  
»I don´t know. I feel sick, I-... it´s just too intense, I´m sorry...«

Nagi lets him sit on solid ground for a minute.   
The TV- tower is swaying slightly in the howling, freezing wind, but at least the concrete ground offers some comfort. Schuldig feels dizzy. His brain won´t stop reeling, the height is too much, the air is too thin. He´s hyperventilating.   
He´s also so fucking embarassed... 

Here he is, feeling shaky and about to puke from his first few minutes of subbing for -Nagi- of all fucking people. 

»I just need a moment«, he stammers, »I don´t know-... this never even happened before... Might be just low blood sugar or something.«

Nagi, looking genuinely worried, starts rummaging about his pockets.   
He brings forth a single sticky hard candy in transparent wrapping paper and hands it to him. Schuldig takes it with shaking fingers. It´s light blue, a German Ice Fresh. He pops it onto his tounge and starts sucking, absentmindedly smoothing the wrapper that says: »Gletscher Eis« with blue, even letters.   
Breathing is easier after a while. 

»Are you cold?«, Nagi crouches down next to him.   
He´s sitting on his heels, underarms resting on top of his knees, watching him with huge, dark eyes. 

Schuldig gets aware of his rattling teeth.   
»No«, he huffs, »That´s just... it´s just too much adrenaline or something. I´ll be okay in a minute.«

_Didn´t happen in years. God. His starting days at the accademy..._

Nagi eyes him suspiciously.   
»Don´t you enjoy rollercoasters?«, he asks out of the blue.

»I do«, Schuldig sighs, »I like them more when I´m not the one in it, I guess. When I´m just-... you know. Linked with the brain of someone in a rollercoaster.«

Nagi nods.   
»I´m sorry«, he says, »I should´ve asked more... specificly about what you like?«  
»Well-... I was the one rushing you, so...«, he barks out a forced laugh, »as my name suggests, I guess I´m the one to blame here?«  
»You were annoying, yes. But. I tried understanding what it was that you wanted. This place might have been a bit flashy, but... I just thought you might like this?«  
»Well, I thought that too, about ten minutes ago«, Schuldig laughs. 

Their eyes meet. In their glance is a hint of softness, appology. _Trust._

»I´ll try becoming a better top«, Nagi says, stretching out his hand, »I promise. I´m new to this, sorry for that. But I can´t say I absolutely detested it so far?«  
Schuldig laughs again. His teeth are flashing, but he seems a tad too tense and doesn´t answer. 

»Do you want me to bring you back down... and we stop?«, Nagi asks.   
Their eyes are still locked.   
Schuldig doesn´t blink.   
His grin fades to focus and some relaxation. He´s licking thin lips, slowly shaking his head no. 

Nagi rises an eyebrow.   
»Do you want to... keep going?«

Schuldig hesitates. 

»Don´t make me feel like a failure«, he rasps, finally.   
The wind rips the words from his lips, throws them into nothing, but Nagi listens to them very closely. He nods again. 

»Don´t make me do all the work then.«, he says with the hint of a smile. 

~


	7. Chapter 7

~

His gaze falls on the remaining shoe on Schuldigs foot. 

»Take this off«, he says, »And let it go for me. Don´t throw it. Just let it go.«  
Schuldig swallows hard.

But some seconds later, he gives in and obeys.  
The feeling when the smooth, shiny leather slipps out of his fingers and tumbles in soft noises down the round shape of the viewer´s platform tugs at his stomach. He feels dizzy but it´s more of a tipsy kind of dizzy, not a nauseating one. The more pleasurable than frightening thrill at the start of a BDSM- scene... Schuldig watches the descent of his dearest footwear with a pang of dread and helplessness that´s just the tiniest bit arousing.

»Strip off your socks, too. Then stand and come to the pillar.« 

Schuldig pulls off his socks hesistantly as he´s told.  
He feels utter vulnerable without them. It´s so strange, really.

Just the feeling of getting bared on such a profound level. More intimate, in a way, than having his genitals exposed. Cold, harsh wind is hitting his feet sharply, turning his toes to ice. He staggers up on the swaying, round plattform, while wind is ripping at him. Below him gapes the abyss of nothingness. When he reaches the pointy pillar at the tip of the concrete globe, he´s thankful. 

»Turn around«, Nagi orders softly, and he´s wrapping his arms sideways as wide as he can reach around the pillar, squeezing his eyes closed.  
»Don´t you want to open your eyes?«

»No«, Schuldig whispers, shivering from head to toe.  
He has to whisper. His powers are on stand by. 

»Are you still scared?«, Nagi asks quietly.  
Schuldig doesn´t answer. He´s tense, he still breaths in a fast, short fashion. 

»Is it okay... if I touch you?«, Nagi whispers close to his ear.  
He nods. Their youngest slips cool, gentle fingers beneath his jacket and t-shirt, rubs cool palms around his hips, and... that´s so nice all of a sudden... 

As harsh and violent as his force can be, as trembling and full of frail curiosity are his fingers:  
Nagi is not used to touching people. He does it with utmost care, like he is handling delicate china.  
Their small one has the unlucky condition of being fascinated by human contact and craving it- but being deeply scared by it at the same time, due to all those times of giving into this need and facing horrible consequences. 

»I want to try lifting you again«, he says very quietly, more inside of Schuldigs head than with his voice, rubbing small circles in the skin around Schuldigs hipbones, »Once more. Since I don´t want you to remember it all as a bad experience. But I´ll try and be gentle, okay? You may leave your eyes closed. Whenever you feel sick again-... whenever you want me to stop, do just say so. I´ll find something else. I just really-... I feel like you could like it, if we could find the right... twist?«

Schuldig feels very, very queasy and helpless, but he nods. Nagis grip on his hipbones intensifies. »Let your arms fall to your side«, he whispers, »Or better, cross them over your chest.«  
That takes a while, until he can obey this. Schuldig´s jaw is twitching again. 

»I´ve got you«, Nagi tells him, closing in a bit, so Schuldig can feel his actual, physical body.  
»Lift your left foot to your buttocks.«  
Schuldig does so, and feels a wire in his body twitch and sing, when Nagis hand closes around the exposed sole.  
»Good... Now the other one, too.«

Schuldig´s breathing hard.  
He is standing on one foot at the top of a freekishly high building, so high that he hardly can see the ground anymore. Winds are ripping at them, everything is swaying, he´s fighting for balance, around them there is nothing but sky- Nagi´s thumb presses into a major vulnerable spot on his body-... and tells him to give up his last bit of control now, giving him the other most vulnerable part of him directly into his hands. 

»I can´t«, he says, and his voice breaks. 

Nagis thumb starts rubbing his sole and the feeling shudders jolts of hot electricity through his spine that make the hair on his whole body stand on egde.  
»-... Ugh...«, he gasps out.  
»Try shifting your weight away from the pillar, to me«, Nagi says, »I´ve got you. I promise, i won´t let you fall. Breath in, breath out and then lift your foot.«

»I can´t!«, Schuldig´s voice is tight and panicky, and he´s suddenly very glad that no other people can see him like this.  
»You´re just scared.«, Nagi tells him, »That´s okay. You can breath through it. You´ve done it before.«  
That´s right. He´s done that in probably most scenes he was subbing for real. Most of the times he needed to face his fear of pain, of water or feeling confined into something- not the fear of heights. But it doesn´t really work for him without this. 

»Help me«, he rasps.  
And then he pulls up his foot. 

~


	8. Chapter 8

~

It´s the moment of magic. 

What makes him do this again and again: the craving for this little moment of intense fear and thrill, and the titillating rush that follows right behind, when it´s all too late to go back and make it undone. 

Taking a leap in faith and feeling himself not die after all: That´s what helped him pick up the scattered pieces of himself and try putting them back again. It´s what helped him feel remotely whole again, one piece at a time, after having been shattered so much. His coping strategy for an uncontrollable brain. _This is better than pills. It´s more. It´s everything._

Nagi has both of his bare feet under his thumbs now, rubbing gently, and the feeling tugs at his very soul. Schuldig feels held by the force, but just so- he´s utterly helpless, he´s up in the air, about to drop to his certain doom any moment- and then he starts laughing, because that´s what he does when the rush gets too heady. 

»You´ve been so good«, Nagi whispers in spite of Schuldig cackeling borderline hysterically, »I´ll give you a treat- Come«, he whispers, curling his fingers and Schuldig feels himself floating. He dippes forwards- the round surface of the concrete globe on top of the TV- Tower descends into nothing, and his face seems to follow- motion sickness hits hard again. Schuldig squeezes his eyes shut.  
»Stop-«, he gasps, »Mayday, I mean- yellow- whatever the fucking slowword is- shit!«

»It´s okay«, Nagis warm voice whispers right next to his ear while freezing whiffs of wind whip his hair around, and he uses one outstretched finger to poke and balance his swaying body on: »Relax. Really. I´ve got you. Feels like I´m really getting the hang of this...«  
»I´m just too fucking scared of heights!«, Schuldig whines, »And-... I didn´t know that, okay? It´s never been like this!«

»Well, I´m okay with you crying and begging, actually.«, Nagi states, amused, »It´s a bit surprising, but not too bad for my self esteem.«

»WHAT!«  
»Hush now. Let´s see if you care for some sex, still...«

He pulls him back, dips his thumbs into the hem of the throusers and pushes them down a bit. Schuldig feels his ass being spread without feeling actual fingers. The air around him is solid, Nagi just holds his hips while the force presses up and inside, his eyes bulge, his throat closes-... it´s as if getting fucked by the thumb of god.

»Don´t-...«, he croaks.  
»Sorry?«, Nagi sounds a bit concerned, »I´m still a bit unsure... I didn´t exactly try this very often...«  
»Could you-... could you just use yourself for this?«, Schuldig whines, »Please?«  
»I´m... a bit nervous about... that, too.«  
»I´d rather have your warm, solid dick or fingers fuck me than some ghost penis... It´s cold and- it kinda freaks me out, if you´re not careful you might end up pumping me full of air like some balloon animal!«

Nagi snickers. 

»Okay, I just-... I might be too nervous to get it up well enough for -actual- penetration...?«  
Schuldig breaths heavily. 

»Then just... use your fingers or something?«, he croaks. »Or your m-...«  
»Can I kiss you?«  
The pressure of air around him is gone. 

Schuldig blinks and turns around. And there are Nagis big, round, hopeful eyes, and he looks as if he actually needs reassurance. It might be illogical, but just having the other one physically close eases most of his panic. Schuldig melts into the kiss, mouthing hungrily at their youngsters tounge.

»Yeah«, he sighs, »That´s better... let´s just touch more again, please...?«

~


	9. Chapter 9

~

They have sex. 

In a slow, unrushed, almost meditative way. Schuldig feels himself getting worked open slowly, gently, with analytical patience that´s just so typical for the Prodigy. It´s freezing, his teeth are ratteling, but he´s finally able to submit in a more relaxed way, letting himself getting fingered deeply, letting his dick being touched and fondeled as if the other one´s actually an alien, trying to understand human anatomy by sensations alone.  
When he cums, it´s another surrender on top of them all. And after that, they just hug.  
Schuldig is shaking so much he doubts he could stand on his own already, but it´s very reassuring to at least feel ice cold concrete beneath his numb toes. He can feel Nagi shake slightly, too. He doesn´t want to see anything, wants to just feel, just let himself come down from this ridiculously high emotional rollercoaster, until he feels stable enough to face life again.  
Nagi holds him. He seems thankful and a tiny bit proud to be able to.  
It might seem awkward from an outside perspective since he´s still smaller and thinner, but right now they both just don´t care. Nagi´s small hand rubs circles across Schuldigs back and it´s the quietest feeling. 

When Schuldig opens his eyes again, the world is darkening at the edges. 

Night falls slowly, soundlessly, and the lights of the town beneath them are starting to glow. Millions of stars glittering in the darkness, the city below mirroring the night sky above and around.

»You´re such a huge sap, I can´t believe it.«, Schuldig snorts.

»When we´re to do it my way, let me at least make it pretty.«, Nagi says, smiling.  
»That´s so gay.«  
»Our world is dark enough, don´t you think so?«

At this moment, just for a tiny fraction of time, Schuldig thinks that a part of him, well hidden deep inside, could actually, genuinely love Nagi.

A part of him could really want to give in; to romance and tenderness for this beautiful, yet sad longing of a child- like half-god: distant affection, tiny specks of frozen, distilled love, stretched out to a sparkling galaxy, in the darkness of space and time. 

And then he remembers that he still finds way too much comfort in the rough, -physical- closeness of him and Brad, the taste of blood and gunpowder, sensations of lust and violence. No floating superheroes... Just that. Two bruised souls beneath huge egoes and big, childish dreams of becoming invincible, rubbing their raw and real vulnerabilities against each other in their most intimate moments. 

»Thank you«, he whispers though, »That was-... that was big. You should try it some time with your boss or something. Aren´t you two the goth drama brothers of Tokyo now?«

Nagi laughs. Actually, softly, affectionate. His eyes shine like the universe.  
»That´s... a strangely accurate description«, he muses, »We´re not there yet, and you know that he´s exploring his compability with Crawford right now-...«  
Schuldig squints his eyes: 

»Yeah, don´t remind me, I still need time processing this, thanks a lot.«  
»... but. Yeah. Maybe some time, I will. What about us, now? Think, you´d want... this... more often?«

Schuldig hesitates. For too long. 

»You didn´t like it?«, Nagi sounds unsure again, »I practised a lot so I could use it on you.«  
»It was super overwhelming!«, Schuldig says quickly, »Good job, man! It´s just-... I just found out that full blown Telekinesis might not be one of those kinks I- could- do regularly, you know? It might be just a tad too nerve- wracking and hardcore even for me after all, man! It freaks me out when you lift me so high and shake me around with nothing to set my foot on and nothing to fucking hold on to!«

 

Nagi, against his lips, snickers.  
»Trust issues«, he laughs quietly.

 

//Trust issues//, Farfarellos voice agrees suddenly, deep and hollow, from somewhere far away and the depths of, probably, hell.

 

//Trust issues//, says Brad unusually warm and affectionate over their mental connection.

 

Schuldig just rolls his eyes and grins as wide as his mouth will allow.

»Yeah, man«, he says softly, »You guys know me best, after all.«

 

~


End file.
